This one’s for the fellas.
It could be her biological clock. Some people blame it on maternal instincts. Maybe you think society puts too much pressure on women. Whatever your favorite lady’s reason, you will likely be faced with the prospect of tending to an impatient wife once she contracts baby fever.
If you are a dude who finds himself in this position, let me offer you a few key pieces of advice. I’m no Solomon, but these have made my life easier, won me a few extra of those ever-coveted brownie points, and hopefully helped ease the emotional burden only an expectant mother can understand.
KEYS TO SUCCESS:
- Keep it your little secret for a while. I know this may seem a bit contradictory at first considering how many people may read this, but hear me out. Kristen and I decided we wanted to adopt when we were, for all intents and purposes, still children. We went off to college, were married, and landed grown-up jobs. We thought we might end up having biological children at first. Then we didn’t. And we didn’t. And we didn’t some more. Then we decided to revisit adoption. Then we decided to get serious about it. Then we told our parents. Then we told our siblings and grandparents. Then we told our friends. My point is this: We made sure we had processed everything before we started. We were able to make it our own before we let everyone else in on the secret. We had fun dreaming until we decided it would be more fun to share that dream with everyone.
- Let her be the one to tell everyone. After you’ve had your time to deepen your bond by keeping this huge secret, it’s time to share it. Take it from me, gents – you will both get more out of her being the one to unveil your grand alternative plan to traditional reproduction. You should be the one to see her eyes light up when she tells the story. She’ll let you know if/when she wants you to add your own color commentary, and it’ll become a fun dance the two of you are privileged to share.
- Get involved in your own way. Look, guys – you don’t have to get all giddy when you see a pink tutu, but you do have to get yo act together and build a crib so that nursery can start to feel real for the apple of your eye! Figuring out how car seats work (there are so many clips and buckles!), and finding that stroller that’s the perfect mix between “cute” and actually useful…these are for you. Know your role. Plus, it just makes sense to knock these things out before you get a phone call and your life gets wild by a factor of ten overnight.
- Let her buy all the tiny onesies with built-in bowties. All of them. It’s a fact: The ladies love to buy things. Celebrate the fact that the queen of your household is actually buying something that will, in all likelihood, prove useful in the future. Guys…SHE COULD BE BUYING ANOTHER PURSE. As I’ve learned from Kristen, “Worst case scenario, this just becomes an awesome gift for someone else!” So economical…
I guess these could apply conceptually to any expectant mother, but I should disclaim I only have experience with the kind that doesn’t get to know with any degree of approximation whatsoever when her little bundle o’ joy will arrive. This would be enough to drive even the most laid back individual mad, so imagine its effect on a habitual planner like my beloved. Be patient. Be thoughtful. Be what she needs. Everything else will fall into place.